The meeting between Wind and Light.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012 ★ 3:25 AM │
*Chris's POV*
Dear diary,
My life is a mess without Em. I guess it's true she's a hurricane. She wrecked mine when she left. I miss her more than words can say. I tried finding her, but that's no use. She moved away just after she sent me her letter saying goodbye. I asked her cousin, Elena but she was asked by Em to not tell, and she won't. I don't know what more to do.
It's been three months. Everything is a blurred picture without my hurricane by my side. I go to school, make sure my mother is fine, and go to my part time job at the drug store and end my days listening to music in my room trying to stop my heart from beating. But I won't harm myself in any way more than this. I promised Em I would not cut or do anything that would change me. Each time I go home, I see the sight of my mum and wished I did the same thing that Lila did with Damien before she did it. So I can runaway with Em and live happily.
I wish I did that. Because I lost her. And all I'm concentrating on now is my mum. She needs rehab and I'm getting her in one. No matter what she says. Because I can't fix her alone. She needs professional help, and no matter how much it costs I'm getting it to her. That's why I'm working double shifts at the drug store after school.
The day I met my hurricane, I was working the night shift at the drug store. I was stacking some boxes behind the counter when I heard the usual chime meaning a customer has entered and I went to the front to accommodate the person.And the person was her. My hurricane. She looked a bit different. Her hair was dyed red from black. Her scent is till the same though. It was like drug to me. A very missed and rare drug.
I was captivated, as I had always been. The first time she saw me after three months I could see the shock in her eyes. I must've looked different to her. And that's true. I even feel different. I see the world differently without her. I lost ten pounds a month. I barely eat, and when I eat it's only because I remember her words to not punish myself for her mistakes.
But I am.
She gasped and a tear rolled off her cheek and in that very instance I hugged her with every ounce of me that she took when she left. We cried and I whispered between tears to her to not leave again, please never leave again, I can't do this without you. And she said, 'Do what? You never tell me what has been bothering you this badly.' I told her that back then I wasn't ready. Now I am and I am ready to tell her everything about Lila and mum and my wrecked life. She said she had been wanting to know for forever and if forever is now she will be ready to listen.
But in my arms, she hugged me and said why I got so thin in three months? Had I not been taking care of myself the way she trusted me to? Did I stop eating? She checked my sleeves and she held her breath. When she sees that they are clean without any cuts she inhaled air and almost collapsed in my arms due to stress. She was so worried I wouldn't be the same Sun I was back then.
I closed off the store and we walked hand in hand towards the park where we first met. The air was chilly and I took off my jacket and put it around her arms. She looked happy to be back and when we got there I put her on the swing and pushed it for her while we talk. She told me she left for Boston. She told me that she was trying to find happiness and she really thought she was sucking mine out. She was definitely wrong. She was the sole purpose of my life.
I asked her why she decided to colour her hair red and she said she never thought she would be coming back anytime soon. But now that she's here, she sees no way to go again. She said I'm her home and three months from each other was too much. Too much to handle.
I then took the swing next to her and I started my story. I told her about Lila, about mum and how it was hurting me to see her passed out each time I went home drunk on vodka. I told her the reason why I didn't tell her about my family was because I wasn't proud of them. I told her about my dad. And throughout it all, Em never let go of my hand. She squeezed it when she thinks I need strength from her. I told her about my plan sending mum to rehab. And how hard it was when she was gone.
She cried again and told me she was sorry for leaving. She said it was all a mistake and a rash decision. She said she thought I was fading away from her and she can't stand seeing me leaving her like that. So she did it. And now she knows the truth she hates herself for hurting me in this way. It was never what she meant to do.
We shared stories of stuff that happened outside each other's company. How Em felt vulnerable without me. How I felt lifeless without her. And everything was in sync now she was with me. Everything is fine. We walked home hand in hand and I kissed her on the doorstep of her house and walked back to mine with a glow in my heart that has been lost for three months.
The next day, with the help of Em I bought mum to St Jude Hospital and we met a therapist by the name of Doctor Adam. He admitted her and monitored her health before deciding she needs rehab. She was put in there until she recovers, he said. I accepted his decision, it's for the best.
I walked out of the rehab centre with Em holding hands. I could feel the pieces of my life coming back together. I guess it's true what they say. Love can appear in any shape and form. It doesn't matter that I'm the Sun and she's hurricane. For me, she's what I need to keep going.
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